Prachi Dublay's Page!

"Dil Hee To Hai…"

Naa Sang-O-Khishta, Dard se bhar naa aaye kyon?

Royenge Ham, Hazaar Baar, Koee Hamen sataae kyon?" - Mirza Ghalib

Dear Music-Lovers... Making a formal announcement here on this public forum now…

Indeed, am very pleased to share this with you that recently ‘Fountain Music’ has released my first SOLO professional audio CD, Titled as - "Dil Hee To Hai!"

Dil Hee To Hai, is in some ways, a tribute paid to the rare gems of the old tradition of Semi-Classical Hindustani Music, like Rasoolanbaai, Begum Akhtar & Nainadevi…

This CD includes Traditional Ghazals, Thumri-Dadra & few Sufi Kalaams too… 

Also the attempt has been made to celebrate the essence of the poetry of great Sufi/Saints & Urdu Shayars like Ameer Khusro, Kabir, Mirza Ghalib, Faiz, Jigar & so on…

To my great fortunes, eminent film critic & Urdu scholar from Pune, Prof. Satish Bahadur has conceptualized & scripted this entire project, & also – a luminous actor from theatre & film, Atul Kulkarni has contributed to this project as a compeer & an orator…

I would like to humbly mention here, that we do Not claim any originality or perfection regarding the content & the form of 'Dil Hee To Hai!', yet - i do feel that Prof. Bahadur’s illuminating scripting has - to a great extent, demystified the poetry of these maestros & has made it possible for me to take 'Dil Hee To Hai' closer to a common music-lover's heart... 

I quote Prof. Bahadur’s words regarding ‘Text-Oriented Singing’ here – “Urdu Ghazal needs a presentation in which the (difficult/unfamiliar) Urdu words & the design of the Text, are explained to Non-Urdu listeners. This enables the Hindi listener to have a better understanding of how the content of the poem could be important over the meaning of it, & which is inherent in the ‘Text’ of the poem itself… as it is always important in making of art, that ‘How’ it is Done than merely ‘What’ is done!”

‘Dil Hee To Hai’ seeks now the true success by reaching to an ear of a True Listener! :O)

With Love,

Prachi Dublay

PS - (Thank you so much for all your genuine support dear friends... & also, For the friends who have made personal inquiries about the CD… I must add here that Dil Hee To Hai belongs to a small stream of parallel music & Not to the main stream-popular music… thus it can’t be available anywhere & everywhere… Only few leading stores in Metros like Planet M Or Crossword Or Music World can get you one copy of it… that too if you specifically ask for it… or you may also get it directly from me… :O) )

For Further Inquiry - Fountain Music CD NO:- FMBCD -261 - fountainmusic@yahoo.com

Recently, Our dear friend 'Ghost' wrote a very significant & thought-provoking post….. ‘Happily Married… Seeking Friendship...” Both, being a woman & also being an artiste, I could immediately relate to his truthful & honest writings… I wanted to share something from my own experiences which I gain from my small & yet beautiful world of Art with Him, & of course with all my fellow Ilanders!! I just wanted to share that He (Ghost) is Not at all alone there, as a sensitive soul who is possessed by some delicate questions related to serious & sincere relationships like Marriage & Friendship!

While reflecting, I realized that Indian Ethos & Culture has such a wide room for some such complex & challenging questions which does Not easily fit into the set norms of the social structure designed by the vast generations of this part of the world! Not only that, our Culture does provide some beautiful answers, solutions & also acceptance of such situations where an individual desires something more than he/she is getting while remaining inside the walls of institutions created by Mankind!

For instance, Festivals like Holi & Rangapanchami are being celebrated for ages here in India & it is a known fact that it is considered as a permissible gesture in such festivals that you share the intimate company, you dance along & also play Holi with your friends of the opposite genders, other than your spouse! Our Culture does have the space & scope for the understanding that Such sharing of Pure Joy is a natural human need & which requires to be incorporated beautifully & yet faithfully into the norms of our social structure! Unfortunately, it is very confusing that where, why & how did such pleasant & amusing customs of the society vanish in the later periods?

Well… It reminds me of a very famous Traditional Bandish (Songlet) sung by late Smt. Rasoolanbaai, a veteran vocalist of early 20^th century… The Song-Text follows like this: (Which gives enormous opportunities to a singer & a dancer to elaborate & express through their Art, the hidden shades of ‘Romantic Call’ that this Bandish Possesses!)

Here, The ‘Nayika’ says:

“Kankar mohe maar daee hai naa re!

(Oh You naughty guy, Please don’t tease me by throwing little stones at me!)

Kankar Laganeki Kachhu dar nahi, Gagari mori phoot jaee hai naa re!

(I am not afraid of your Teasing, or ‘Chhedchhad’, but you should Not expose me by breaking the Gagar on my head!)

Gagari phutne ki kachhu dar nahi, Chundari mori bhinj jaee hai naa re!

(Oh, I am Not worried even about being exposed in front of the world, But you should Not touch my dignity as a woman, my Chundari, by wetting my clothes with water!)

Chundari bhinjane ki kachhu dar nahi, Nanadi mori taana daee hai naa re!

(Yet again, I am not afraid even if my dignity as a woman is touched & challenged by you, as I dare to face this challenge too.. But…then my sister in law should not throw her bitter remarks at me!)

Nanadi ke taaneki kachhu dar nahi, Balam mora… Saiya mora… Piyu mora… Ruth Jaee hai naa re!

Kankar, Gagar, Chunar, Nanad ko Kachhu Dar nahi, Sajan mora, Ruth jaee hai na re!.......   

(I can surely bear with also Nanadi’s Taana, all her bitterness & sarcasm, but but… What I can never bear is… My Beloved going away from me by getting displeased with me due to my surrender to all your naughty & mischievous  actions!)

After all, there are some vital & long-lasting ties, which the Nayika does not wish to sacrifice for such momentary pleasant-encounters! So, here is created an Aesthetic Border by our Culture & Art which at the same time clearly portrays the beautiful possibility of an all together different shade of Man -Woman Relationship!

So! This was it!

The simple question comes to anybody’s mind, if the Woman, Nayika here is mentioning about her True Love, her commitment forever, may be about her soul mate, her husband, & so on… in the end of the song then till now, whom is she talking to…. Throughout the song? Obviously, He is somebody else, an outsider, a friend… Or…Well, …..

I presented this Bandish in few of my concerts recently & could receive the very big applause for that! I do believe our culture truly is all encompassing & respects all Human emotions, traits & characteristics!

Eminent Ethnomusicologist Peter Manual mentions: “…. Yet even in Hindi (Brij) Poetry, The Tradition that Kishna is an adulterer rather than husband to Radha may reflect a lack of faith in the institution of marriage as a source of complete fulfillment…” (The spiritual connection of these deities is a well-known phenomenon in itself, but perhaps Manual here would like to reflect on the Human Characteristics of these idols! As we know, Radha-Krishna are Not Husband & Wife!)

But my Teacher Prof. Satish Bahadur extends the thought by adding: “Radha & Krishna relationship does Not necessarily express a lack of faith in the institution of marriage as a source of complete fulfillment, but it asserts the significance of the human-desire for the complete love, & thus celebrates the highest possibility of The Mutuality of Man-Woman Relationship, irrespective of the social situation in which it takes place!”

Also, a well-known psychologist Dr. Shyamala Vanarase suggests that all the institutions are created for the welfare of human society & not the Mankind is made for these Institutions, so with the changing times, one needs to reinterpret, redesign all the given meaning to these manmade institutions & make desirable, positive changes & reform the set notions of the society! – However this requires courage!

Friends, I have been taught that – True Art is that through which you learn to understand life better & also get strengthened as a human being!

Thus, I dedicate this post to my elder Ilander-friend “Friendly Ghost” – as I do not know his name, neither can I email him, so I express my gratitude here itself that due to his courageous & forthright observations, I got inspired to think of my Art & Performance with a different perspective! And I truly feel obliged!

Regards, Pra~!

P.S - You know after reading this post, what did 'Friendly Ghost' say?

"For me, that bandish really expresses the best of the human soul... which is the ability of a spouse to accept the spirit of naughtiness and self-abandonment. It is high time Indian-ness and tradition cease to be equated with conservatism, and start being associated with a feeling of freshness, freedom and willingness to grow. It is time we showed the world that our collective liberatedness isn''t just represented in a few oddities like the Kama Sutra and Khajuraho temple sculpture, but lives in our folklore, our songs, dances, paintings, festivals and collectively beating heart and minds. In some sense, it is in the heart of every Indian, whether he/she joyfully accepts it or struggles to stifle it. Lovely post, which is already beginning to inspire another post within me (esp. what you wrote about festivals like Holi). Warm Regards, Ghost "

Recently, I had been to Film & Television Institute, Pune - to attend the lecture series on ‘Wide Spectrum of Indian Music & Audio for Visual’, given by Dr. Ashok Da Ranade. No need to mention it was more than overwhelming an experience to receive the great knowledge transmitted by this ‘Rushi’ Of Indian Music!

Also, all the participants (Direction Students of FTII, Pune) were quite receptive & intelligent! It was a cohesive group overall, only The One was left out & was sitting alone in the corner! Taking notes silently & responding in his own way, but not with much enthusiasm! I became curious as He was a White Man, a foreign student, I wanted to observe that how a foreigner responds to a different & culture-specific music-making experience! But unfortunately he did not participate in the Group Discussion much! Well, on being asked, “How does it feel to be here?” By Mrs. Ranade, he suddenly started speaking which I could listen clearly!

He said – “I have come here from Germany to study films! But in Pune, I feel very lonely & alienated; neither can I relate to the culture & society, nor to the information & knowledge do I receive here! As I am still a bachelor at the age of 39, do not have my family or people around, & here I feel this is considered as a very unusual condition, people of my age are more or less ‘settled’ in life, they have their jobs/business, life-partner, kids, family & friends and they can not easily accept adventurous wanderers like me or can relate to my way of thinking! & the students over here are so young & childish to an extent that they too treat me as an outsider & remain in their own imaginary world! I find Pune (Actually an Indian Metro Now!) ‘A Huge Village’!, where No discipline is observed, lot of sound & air pollution one has to suffer from, & also one has to pay a Big Price for living an uncommon or different life!”

After saying this all , he glanced at me & gave me a smile as he realized that I was listening to him with some empathy as many of my friends from Artist Community also feel in the same way as he was feeling! Well – later it came to me as a pleasant surprise when he got up when came his turn & made an excellent presentation on an extraordinary Algerian Film! In which the Audio used for the Visual was quiet exciting & also provoking to an extent! I felt both Happy & Sad together for him!

After coming home, thought about his remarks lingered in my mind for a while! Simultaneously, I also was thinking to comment on my previous Blog which was a good example of Mockery made on The Institution called Marriage! Thus my mind raised some questions like….

Can really a good culture & society protect their values & heritage by remaining in Watertight Compartments?

Could the very idea of thinking about the institution of marriage prevalent in our culture, be very suffocating to an Outsider?

Why is it so necessary to get married & have kids at a specific age - is almost compulsory in our society & the one who tries to reject this compulsion has to almost live an alienated life?

Could there be a true commitment & a bond without marriage between two genuine souls?

Why is it so that only this relationship called Husband & Wife (which is supposed to be the ‘Most Sacred’ of all worldly relationships & yet at the same time) becomes a subject for mockery in the society & Never any other like Mother & Child, Brother & Sister or Father & Daughter becomes so!  Is it so because it is artificially created by the mankind unlike all others mentioned here?

 & So on & on….. Well,

Friends! Lot of churning is taking place in my mind right now& I am coming to terms with many realities… I am realizing my own answers & finding my own solutions too… It was a loud thinking done & also some sharing… you may also join the conversation & share ideas if you feel like…See you again! J Pra~!

PS - Usually I post the Blogs on both my Ids, i.e; Rediff & MSN...

“How one can separate the Dancer from The Dance?” & "The Singer from the Song?"

I remember it, perfectly. I was five. Then I used to sing, dance, act, play & also speak a lot –  - every now & then! My mother says that I was a very very expressive, active & extrovert child – Bubbling, Cheerful & Happy! (?) (My impression is also the same!)

My uncle had recorded my voice once when I was five, – Surprisingly, I had sung a Thumri at that time – An immortal Thumri, sung by Bade Gulamali Khan, a maestro of Indian Music – (And in film ‘Swami’, I think – it was sung by Yesudasji!) The song text - “Kaa karu Sajani, Aaye na Balam!” The subtlety, the romantic expression, emotion & the pain involved in it were (are) so powerful & overwhelming, – I wonder how did I opt to sing it at the age of five – so easily? May be ignorantly, childishly & yet – very truthfully! I think it was decided then only that my inclination would remain just the same for the rest of my life! And yes it’s true that till today, I am at my best when I opt to present Semi-classical & Folk forms of Indian Music which are Text-based - Poetry based!

Thus I then continued to walk on the path ardently, faithfully, successfully…?!? But..

Well – if so much of Music was there in me in a complete sense – (as I remained thoroughly involved in almost every performing art,) - then what happened, what went wrong eventually in these 29 years that in spite of realizing that a lot of Music, potentially good Music - Is resting inside me, I developed almost an aversion for Music?

Yes, that’s true. In last one year I hardly could give two or three major performances! For the audiences, it might have been pleasing but I knew that I was certainly below my own average! It was disappointing & painful – & yet was true! I didn’t feel like to touch Taanpura or to sing even a single note of Music for the whole of the last year! It left me with the feeling that I was good for nothing & led me towards huge suffering! The whole experience was so agonizing that it would be difficult for me to put it in words! Well...

Obviously some speculation & introspection automatically took place in my mind to dig out the hidden reasons responsible for such a grave downfall!

I had migrated here 12 year’s back – to Pune, to a land of great cultural heritage & education! (?) I had decided then to dedicate myself fully to Music & only to Music – or at least it appeared to the surface of my mind at that time that I wanted to live with & live for Music & of course with many other important things of life which any young woman desires for!! & also I could really succeed – (at least externally) in achieving this considerable task to a great extent!

I topped University Music Department, was awarded by Govt, worked on various fellowships, and was offered to perform at many reputable organizations, I sang for film & television & so on…

Oh yes! Also very importantly, I could meet the ‘Significant Other’ of my life here itself, in Pune! – A great devotee of Music & a complete musician himself! A wonderful person, a visionary, an inspirer, a friend & above all – an artiste highly focused on Music & Music only! – I got married to him, & started on a different plane the same journey once again – The good old Musical journey & the Quest! Saw & experienced many up & downs… Yet, could keep myself on track some how & continued to perform, perform for myself as well as for others!  (Music is basically a Performing Art - & The Show Must Go On you know…)

Well. Well… In all these years, I had been realizing deep down somewhere that there goes on a great struggle between me, as an artiste & me, as a human being – me, especially as a woman – Some times, the artiste used to overrule & sometimes the woman – Yet, once I approached 30, the woman inside me started nagging me more & more! As the artiste in me & the atmosphere around this artiste had created for me, had already become so very burdensome for the woman to carry any further, consequently - had she started rebelling! Her rebel had left devastating effects on my life & had made my living miserable in all possible ways!

The woman out of her rage & anger, had taken away The Voice of the artiste, made the artiste weak & sick! She, the woman was thinking that she was deprived of the intimate sharing, companionship, motherhood & also was kept from becoming a Complete Woman in every sense because of Music! Oh yes, Music was the only major responsible factor & the reason for her loneliness, pain & suffering! Thus she had to hate it from the bottom of her heart! She had to!

The poor woman inside me… eventually she also had to suffer a lot in this revenge game – as – “How one can separate the Dancer from The Dance?” & "The Singer from the Song?" Thus, the human being, the woman & the artiste - all the three had fallen ill together here - in my case!

But can illness be an answer to anything? I guess – though I conceive it completely as a human character; we fall ill to escape the hard struggle that is going on in our mind & also in our life! & very eagerly, cleverly & quickly our negative-self comes to help us & makes us unwell so that life goes on & yet we are not compelled to confront the Truth regarding our own selves! Oh! That can not be the way of my life I felt! Certainly Not!

It is always easy to slip into despair & distress - misery, malady & negativity! & also it is more easy to blame the world outside for your internal suffering! I think I also did the same thing! It doesn’t at all mean that my suffering is false in nature or my pain is invaluable to me! They are integral part of my personality I know & they indeed are great teachers who have taught me a lot– & yet, I can not just go on pampering only these two for the rest of my life!

Also, it will be quite an illusionary living if I try to grab what is Not there in my life! After all, one can not have anything & everything in just one single life! There are greater attributes of my personality as well to pay more attention to which I really have ignored so far! & now I must learn to concentrate on the reality of the moment! At least now!  & it is – The Music in me is waiting for long now! Waiting for me to return to it, with all my strength & endurance! I have to seek pardon, & have to rectify my mistake of abusing the greatest gift given to me by Nature – My Music! I know well that to experience that oneness with my Music, I have to really die & to relive – again & again!

And yet - I am happy that after the huge gap of almost nine months, I have again touched my Taanpura today, lovingly & smilingly! After the huge tension & struggle, The Woman inside me has realized that it was not actually the Music but basically her own Mind which was responsible for her pain & suffering!

Well, I know that it’s Not at all going to be easy to return to my Music now! & yet, I feel happy to face this trial today!!

It’s Time. The show must go on!

23^rd Feb ‘07

P.S: “The things those can’t kill me, make me stronger!” – Nietzsche